Smart Work vs Hard Work

We might think that our failure due to lack of hard works. We usually feel that we have worked extremely hard to reach goals yet we failled. The thing is we ignore the fact that we have not worked smart enough to find effective and efficient paths to success. Apparently we goes through the same paths with identical approaches (that usually proven ineffective). Unfortunately we persist that we have done our best to accomplish our missions while actually we hide under fake sweats rather than intelligence.

We are too lazy to learn new ways and paradgms. Often times we curse new techniques and more advance technologies, and mock them for unclear and non-logical reason. Simply put we despise changes and new things, and shall never trade our comforts "good old days" glories with something new and unfamilliar.

Well changes inevitably evolve either we want it or not. Changes in economic, social,technology etc demand flexible and dynamic adjustments. Such adjustments should be powerful enough to adapt to new and unpredictable circumstances. Those who can cope with changes shall survive.

It is time to shift our way of thinking to a new paradigm. Goals and objectives are reached with effective tools, one of which is creative approach. So find new ways creatively to solve our problems and obstacles, instead of continuing the same "good-old days" approaches. Since keep doing them is merely called "hard work" not "smart work".

Ever think of how you think?

Sounds like a tricky question? Not really. An individual thinking mechanism, or should I say “a person’s way of thinking” surely follows a unique and typical pattern. This personal pattern is developed through life time from childhood till adult age. Your “white paper” are written as a result of your various interactions with environments, that are your family, teacher, friends, beliefs, groups, local culture and more. Believe it or not, this pattern is responsible for our success or failure in life! Many well-known persons have enjoyed the fruits of success, simply by owning a certain successful way of thinking. No wonder many researchers and scientists that studied the formula of successful person, finally end up with a simple conclussion : one’s way of thinking defines his or her success or failure. Let’s have a look at a simple exhibit. Optimist and pessimist are likewise the products of one’s pattern. An individual that has been raised and interact negatively with his or her environment at early age tends to be more pessimistic in life. More likely that he or she has been trapped to a negative way of thinking ,that ultimately become a “personal barrier” for his or her most potential achievements.

If we look even deeper to this concept of successful way of thinking, we shall find two beautiful keywords : positive and creative (thinking). The First word (positive) is a foundation to freedom as opposed to a narrow minded way of thinking. The second one (creative), definitely a major driving agent for one’s achievement. By utilizing this two important factors, surely you have the most probable chance to success.

A helping hand In times of trouble

Anyone, regardless of age, race or gender, can experience these situations.

There are times and circumstances when you are not prepared to cope with life’s turbulences on your own. It’s when you feel like a fish out of water though you have already tried so many things.

If you think you can always face your obstacles on your own, think again. At times you need someone to support you. You need a helping hand or shoulder to cry on.

It goes without saying, it’s the time when you need to call in for help.

The aid may vary from merely sympathy, motivations to substantial materials. Simply put, as a social human being you need someone to rely on. There are times when people need you and there are times when you need them.

Letting your self in a chaos for long time would lead you into a serious mental state , i.e. depression. Depression is a medical condition that affects thousands of people every year

Although depression is not a weakness or a personality flaw, it influences your attitude toward yourself, others and life in general. Depression takes away your feelings of well-being. It changes the way you think and how you behave. It can leave you irritable, unable to concentrate, tired, sad or even make you gain or lose weight.

So get yourself an aid, help yourself by asking for help.

By letting other to help you, does not mean that you loose control of your life. Even a tough guy occasionally needs sidekick to accomplish his objectives. So do not feel embarrased for asking for help. It shall always be a good option.

What makes you stand out of the crowd?

I do not try to talk the marketing way to describe this "secret" (without trying to imitate Rhonda Byrne's most talked best sellers "The Secrets"). It's a question a friend of mine once asked : what makes us stand out of the crowd?

The simple question came out after his frustation over his communication gaps at work and as a member of a social organization. "I am everywhere but nobody seem to listen or pay attention to me. They dont event know that I exist", He said in a session of serious chit chat with me. As a person who's accustomed to marketing terms, I spontaneously recalled the magic word : USP (Unique Selling Proposition). There shall be no argument on the fact that no matter where we are, we sell something. Thus, we should have a uniqueness that attracts our audience 's attention. Otherwise , we become commoner (or should I say "commodity").

Simply put, to draw people's attention, we should have what so called "character" by which your target audience shall be fascinated or charmed. In story telling, we are taught to create a character, an individual with fascinating stories or experiences. In real life, surely same thing applies. Those who have outstanding characters or charisma always become the focal or center of attention at gatherings, party, or meetings.

Finally I answer my friend's question with a question : what's your charm? what's your USP?

Are we destined for our failure or success?

A sister of mine once bursted into tears when reviewing her achievements in life, love and career. She had been struggling hard to mantain the fragile marriage with her unemployed husband. While according to her sibblings such marriage has never been worth to be kept. Frankly speaking most of her friends or family will say yes to a divorce. It's not merely about financial issues but the main problem is her husband's commitment. In my sister's own words : he had never tried hard enough to sustain the family's economy. Despised knowing his weakness, yet she persisted to keep the marriage and drown into deep disapoinment for years. That's not all, on her own she had to pay for daily life expenditures for the two boys and a husband. She had juggled hard to meet ends. One job after another and several small businesses that always ended up with failures. She felt depressed and was in the bottom of her life and asked a simple question to herself : am I destined for failure?

My sister's story has lead me to basic questions in life and philophy.
Do we, as intelligent species, have certain level of control over our destiny? Or should we left it to chance? Or by the way, what is destiny?

Later an old debat comes in my mind, a classic "existentialism philosophical debats" for centuries opposed to traditional philosophies, such as rationalism and empiricism,. As I quote from Wikipedia : Existentialism is a philosophical movement that posits that individuals create the meaning and essence of their lives, as opposed to deities or authorities creating it for them. It emerged as a movement in twentieth-century literature and philosophy, though it had forerunners in earlier centuries. Existentialism generally postulates that the absence of a transcendent force (such as God) means that the individual is entirely free, and, therefore, ultimately responsible. It is up to humans to create an ethos of personal responsibility outside any branded belief system. In existentialist views, personal articulation of being is the only way to rise above humanity's absurd condition of much suffering and inevitable death.

I believe neither we 100% have contol of our life nor 100% dependent upon external forces.
I picture destiny as multiple storylines that man can pick up along the way during his or her life. Any alternative of choice has it's own consequences. I think that's what destiny is all about. You pick a wrong storyline then you will end up with misserable ending or else.

Simply put, the classic rule of life has to be : beware of choices in life. Though we are allways free to choose any path, it wiil be the cause of action of subsequent failure or success.

If a pesimistic person would say "Life sucks and then you die", on the other hand you can say "It's a joyful life and I want to live with it and die afterward". Today's achievements seriously depend on what choices you made in life.

Understanding that you could fail as well as succed is a healthy base in preparing ourselves to cope with life's failure or success.

In life we shall not succed all the times. Some time we stumble and fall and that's normal. The most important thing shall be how to deal with failure or success. That way you will have a normal and healthy life. Thus, we need "self-help" like The Secrets or Chicken soup series. They offer "self-healing" to the suffers, but then again to continue with life you have to make another choices cautiously.

Surely we shall always have goals in life. It's where youwant to go and shall affect how you want to reach them. As once said :"To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act"
Dream shoul be specifically described in realistic actions (choices). Any action we take simply like a small step on the ladder that will bring us to the top, to our dream achievement. But becareful. Do not fall into the same mistakes. Perhaps I shall quote Rhonda Byrne's tagline : This is the secret to life.